i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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