i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
