Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize