You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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