you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
