So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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