I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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