Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
