But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
