I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
