You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
