People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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