Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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