I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
