Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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