But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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