My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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