eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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