small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
