i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
