You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
