I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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