their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
