well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
