If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
