I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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