Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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