It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
