I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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