This is the prime rib incident all over again
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
