He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize