I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
