So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize