You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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