I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
