she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
be right there i have to get my cape
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Someone signed my nipple.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize