Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
