Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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