ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
