she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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