just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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