we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
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