I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
