I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
