you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
