end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
