he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
