Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Who died my cat blue again?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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