Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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