I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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