I hope mine doesn't look like that
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
