Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
