I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
