On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
