just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
