Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
