Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
