remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
