Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
