Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize