I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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