walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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