How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
