your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
His nipple licking is glorious
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