forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
