READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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