Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I think my moral compass just broke
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
