After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
