I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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