do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
