I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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