why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
