Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
whose ass print is on the piano?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
