I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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